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You say it's not a sword!
But with your pen you torture men.
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So, the other night...I was on my 3rd bottle of red wine and I was re-watching The Grey and was feeling really very one with nature... Once more into the fray.Collapse )
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I have this hot tupperware filled with left over spinach and paneer samosas sitting on my abdomen like a heating pad right now. What has my life come to?

Your face could stay like that.Collapse )
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A bottle of wine on a week day and tipsy eating of leftover bbq...not a good look.

Scream your lungs out.Collapse )
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New dress. Her name is Lesley. I've been lusting after this dress since November!
Of course, I took photos of myself in it the second I ripped the packaging open. Now, regarding these photos...I'm horrible with the self timer on my camera. By the time I got the camera to balance on something and pressed the button and ran across the room to get in the shot, it would take the photo and I would look awkward in mid-run/mid-pose in the resulting photo.
So, then I tried taking the ~myspace angles~ route by taking a full body shot from above my head..and a good portion of those shots turned out just focused on my tits or chopping various sections of my head off annnnd it was such a mess, haha. I couldn't even manage one proper full body shot. The following photos are what I salvaged from my pathetic series of self-portraits.

Flushed with success, wearing a little black dress.Collapse )
I'm finding out that I talk the talk dangerously well, but I'm scared of what could happen when the time comes to walk.
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Black Swan was thrilling.

I had the craziest dream last night.Collapse )
These are my first animated icons ever, so they're not amazing or anything..but I'm still excited about them, lol.


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Boy, you forgot about the promises you made me.Collapse )

I also created a community for my icons, so join if you're interested, idk: slendicons
Woke up about an hour ago.
Golden Grain...That shit is 96% alcohol. Never again, damn.
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& it's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die.

Kicking bitches out the condo like Pam.

Accept dances.
Refuse phone numbers.
Confirm that, yes, my hair is indeed very long.
Observe that particular roommate lied about 'not dancing like a white girl.'
Laugh to self.
Get stuck walking said girl home.
Pretend to care about her yammering about her ex-fiancé.
No longer laughing.
Consider bottling eau de parfum d'weed et d'aide de kool.

Cause it's on. Yea, girl, it's on.
You know what it is when I finally make it home.
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Wear a necklace of thorns.

Happy Birthday, Frida. I love you.
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So, it's been a year. What can I say that I haven't already? I've written about Michael Jackson's death and how it affected me a few times before:
July 3, 2009
August 29, 2009
October 25, 2009
November 1, 2009
Yes, it is sad that a family lost a son, brother, father, uncle, etc. Yes, it's sad that fans lost an idol. For me, however, it's sad because I lost an archetype..(well..okay, maybe that's too strong a word, perhaps framework works better) that I based my consumption of music on. Ha, I fully know it sounds self-indulgent and obsessive & that's because it is. I guess I can't deny that I am obsessed with him.

This humpty dumpty"s lucky.Collapse )
I've started studying for the CPA exam in earnest after just talking about doing it (and avoiding it) for a while. I'm starting with Audit & Attestation. It's going okay so far, but I'm still really intimidated, not even gonna lie. I haven't signed up for any sections yet even though my Dad keeps pushing me to. We'll see how it goes.
On a completely unrelated note, I recently read that egg whites apparently contain a substance that counteracts the harmful effects of the egg's yolk on a person's cholesterol level. OH YEAAAA. Excuse me while I blindly believe this without doing any more research. Eggs over easy, hay hay hayy.

Since I have to study for the CPA exam nothing better to do, I filled out Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire. I got the idea from nesquik9 & this site.

ProustCollapse )

Distant as the milky way.Collapse )

It tears me apart in a silent way.Collapse )
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It travels south with disuse.
Okay, so I was in the kitchen just now making some mac & cheese, right, when I overhear a roomie on the phone trying to say that you can only spread herpes ~during an outbreak.
Whoa, whooaa, WHAT? Damn, girl, no. Where were you during your middle school health class?
This is going to bother me. I want to correct her because that's something wayyy too serious to be wrong about but I can't be a megacreeper and knock her door all HEY ROOMIE I NEVER TALK TO HERPES CAN BE SPREAD EVEN OUTBREAK FREE VIA VIRAL SHEDDING I COULD HEAR UR SUPER SECRET CONVO SRY LOL K BYE.
Oh, my life.

Fuck it, Imma write that shit on a post-it and leave it on her door.
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"I saw it written once that the definition of insanity is repeating the same process over and over and expecting the outcome to suddenly be different. I am finally ready to stop this insanity. Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let's try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well."-Joe Stack (1956-2010)

Joe, you cared so much. What the fuck was the point of giving up like this?
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I'm like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car.
Dad calls to check up on my job searching. I sit silently. I feel words rushing in my head but they somehow lose their meaning in seconds & they conveniently bypass my mouth. He yells some more. I close my eyes. Exhale audibly. I regret it immediately and hope it went unnoticed. Then I apologize, tell him I'm busy with classes. I'm preoccupied...only a half lie this time. He thinks something's up. I don't blame him.
I just want to settle into this semester a little bit before I throw myself behind an ambitious job hunt again. I'm applying to shit online..but these jobs are ones I know I am not qualified for. & that one fucking class that fucked over my GPA certainly isn't helping matters.
I can't have conversations with him anymore. I always think rationally the second after I flip my phone shut. I'll never impress or assure him (...or myself, for that matter) this way. It's frustrating. I have to face reality finally..I can only prolong this shit for so long. There are times that I wonder if I have inherited some of these problems. No. In actuality, I'm probably being irresponsible...blaming my own fear on others. There's apathy coupled with this fear. It's a potent combination.

I should have packed for the weekend by now. I should be sleeping. Not sitting in front of my laptop crying in the dark and pitying myself like a fucking character from a teen movie.

What a mad delusion.Collapse )

I should go to sleep now if I have any hope of waking with enough time to pack...but I'll probably be up another couple hours.